A Poem

Photo by Ankhesenamun on Unsplash

Vocatus atque non vocatus deus aderit.

“Called or not called,
God is present.”

Good day or bad day,
God is present.

In fullest confidence or in lingering self-doubt,
God is present.

In courage or in fear,
God is present.

In stillness or in raging storm,
God is present.

In justice or in hypocrisy,
God is present.

In trust or in insecurity,
God is present.

In unconditional love or in our struggle to fight hate,
God is present.

In our bowing of surrender or in our unapologetic apathy,
God is present.

Broken and humbled or boastful and distant,
God is present.

Peace is found in the surrender

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

The colors of contentment we seek exist only in the distance
brushed from a palette of lies and misconceptions

We sacrifice all for a chance to savor in the box
and upon finding the box is empty we sacrifice more for a different one,
then another

The struggle to find stillness
A fierce battle to find peace
These concepts defy and deceive.

We finally see only when we close our eyes
We finally win only after we quit trying so hard

We finally breathe only when we cease focus on the breathing
and acknowledge instead the very source of the…

A renewed path to journaling and healing

Photo by Author: kayaking, May 2021

Never the same again.

After one full year of CBT my life and heart were changed and will never be the same. In addition to the amazing in-session work that challenged me and kept me safe, my journaling became an inseparable part of my healing. Since ending my therapy in April I have pretty much stopped not only journaling, but I have found myself not writing at all.

Today I feel renewed again and I know that journaling will just always be part of my walk and growth. …

And the symphony of purpose

Photo by Alexander McFeron on Unsplash

A weekend getaway — far from anywhere.

Relaxing on the back porch of this cozy log cabin just after sunrise, taking in the symphony of sound and song. All the players are unseen. All the notes played perfectly with purpose.

Some were methodic and alerting. Others more like a song or telling a short story….

The occasional bark of a distant dog interjects perfectly, like the awaited boom of the deep bass drum.

A rabbit sprints along the fence-line. Two horses silently graze in the adjacent field — just a stone’s throw away, yet in a different realm.

Hazelnut with…

A glimpse into my healing journey…

Photo by Eric Muhr on Unsplash

I am forever grateful for my so far fifty-two-week journey of healing. I am only here today because someone followed their calling to become a guide for others, others like me.

I don’t know what I expected — or perhaps it’s just that I had no real expectations besides what we see on television. And my first visit was on video due to Covid — well, she was on video while all I could agree to at that time was to type into a chat box. Small steps I guess — but this felt like a giant one.

I used…

Easter Morning 2021

Photo by Jorge Fernández Salas on Unsplash

The religious connotation of Easter Sunday is not quite what it used to be for me, now in my fifties with a bit different view on life. I see my grandkids this morning celebrating with such joy and amazement over the candy, the stuffed animals, and gifts. Part of me feels universally obligated to throw in the story of Jesus’ resurrection, but most of me doesn’t — and we won’t.

It’s enough for right now that they celebrate. We celebrate the dawn of a new year, the budding of flowers, the rebirth that is spring. Here in the Midwest, it’s…

Image by Author
Image by Author
Image by Author

Despite the dinosaurs and helicopters

Our little friends should be our example

Image by Adina Voicu from Pixabay

Does the caterpillar mourn
its transition and transformation

Does he fear and tremble
Does he hold it off as long as he can

Does he work so hard in his short life to avoid it
expending so much energy somehow in hopes it will evade him

We call it a miracle
the beauty of nature and life

We praise God for the exciting new cycle
and marvel at the new beginning, inspiring color, and freedom to fly

Yet in our own lives
as the river heads to the sea

We fear the sea as unknown
we fear the transformation as a…

A poem about perspective

Image by S. Hermann from Pixbay

Not a branch sways,
Not a single leaf flutters
Outside my window there is stillness…
Where have you gone, God of the Wind

At a time of desperation and tears
When we reach out and plead
And need You the most

How am I to believe that you see me
How am I to know that you hear me
How are the birds to soar
I look for a sign and all I see
is a God withdrawn — a creation completely stalled…
Where have you gone, God of the Wind

I step outside to get some air
Regroup from this…

Terrence Litwiller

new writer… old soul… memoirs and reflections from the journey to find my true heart and purpose and to live a life of significance

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